Sherry RaySherry Ray
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4 Sep 2018

Stop Spinning Your Wheels

sherry_ray communication, Conflict, Leadership, Moving forward, Project Management, Stuck Conflict, Leadership, Management, Stuck 0

As a former race car driver, I certainly learned quickly that when I was spinning my wheels I was losing time and usually the race. In the business world, spinning your wheels is exhausting. It may feel as if you are getting nowhere… and you may even doubt you have the energy necessary to drag yourself through the day. That is a lack of traction. You can stay where you are, doing the same old thing you have done up until now, or you can learn to shift what you are doing so you can move forward.

For example:

I was speaking to a group of general managers of a large corporation. Twenty minutes into my talk, I felt helpless and confused because everyone was sitting there like lumps, completely unengaged. I had never experienced this kind of reception to one of my workshops. I knew what I was capable of, but felt like I was failing at the task I had been hired to do. This was going to be a very painful two hours for all of us. We were certainly spinning our wheels. In spite of my efforts to move forward we were stuck.

In a moment of liberating inspiration, I broached the question, “Okay, what is going on? Why are all of you just sitting there looking bored and uninspired?” My heart was pounding with fear as I waiting for the answer.

The revelation was shocking it turns out no one had told them why they were there. This was not the answer I had expected at all! The meeting had been put on their calendar with no explanation or title. Once we clarified why I was there and what our goals were, the group became lively and engaged. By having the courage to ask the question, I was able to identify the problem and inspire the group to participate. We were now back on track.

In spite of what you may think, when you find yourself spinning your wheels it’s not necessarily because of your manager, co-worker or the company. These external forces are all contributing factors, but it is how you deal with whatever is going on in your work situation that causes you to lose or gain traction. The process for change begins with you!

Tips to stop spinning your wheels:

  • Notice when you feel vulnerable, insecure or “less than.”
  • Pay attention when you are feeling exhausted or overwhelmed.
  • Take time to determine why you are feeling this way.
  • Ponder what needs to be changed.
  • Ask questions.
  • Don’t take responsibility for other people’s moods. It’s usually not about you.
  • Shift from feeling powerless to accepting you can become an instrument of change.
  • When you encounter a difficult situation, remember the story is not necessarily finished. Have the courage to come back and dig deeper to find out more.

Excerpts from my book, “Finding Traction:Recapture Your Drive at Work.”

 

21 Aug 2018

Open-Ended Questions Can Change Everything

sherry_ray communication, Conflict, Leadership, Project Management, Uncategorized Communication, Conflict, Leadership, Listening, Management 0

Open-ended questions are an incredibly powerful tool for gathering more information. Project managers and executives often set target dates for projects without getting buy in from the individuals actually involved in the project. Project success is not driven by the manager, but by the people implementing the project. An open-ended question begs for more information, unlike close-ended questions that be answered with a “yes, no, or I don’t know”, giving you no further information.

How often are you walking away from conversations without really understanding the full depth of what is going on? How many times have you left a meeting full of your own assumptions and judgments, but somehow missed the point? Do you truly know the full magnitude of a situation?

For example, deadlines are often given without asking powerful open-ended questions such as:
• What will be sacrificed to bring this project in on time?
• What keeps you up at night about this project?
• What are others afraid to tell me about this project?
• What else do you think I need to be aware of?
• What can come back to bite us later?
• What other deadlines are the teams dealing with that could affect the outcome?
• How difficult is this going to be and what can be done to make it easier?

As a leader you need as much information as possible so that you are completely informed and not caught in a mess. It’s important to dig deep making sure you are not caught unaware. This could mean the difference between keeping or losing your job and reputation.
I was coaching a middle manager, for a large financial institution, that was preparing to implement an enormous project that touched all of their clients. None of these types of questions were asked and employees did try quietly to let their concerns be known, however upper management was not willing to ask their own questions or listen, their egos were completely engaged.

The implementation date, that should have never happened, brought the entire system down and clients nationwide were unable for over twenty-four hours to access their accounts. Naturally it made the national news and you can bet heads were rolling! All that needed to happen was some well placed questions that would dig deeper into the ramifications of going live with this implementation. A huge mess could have been avoided.
Be willing to dig deeper to find out what is really going on so that you will feel confident and well informed. It’s most important that your employees trust you, know that you care and are willing to listen. With well-timed conversations so much conflict can be avoided by all parties involved. Much more information can be gained by stopping to be curious. Take your power back and find out what is really going on.

Tips for asking open-ended questions can be found in Chapter 5 of my book, Finding Traction: Recapture Your Drive at Work.